2011 in review - part one

Clearly, school took over my life and I was unable to continue my journal entries. So much has happened in the last 5 month that I want to talk about, but I'll leave it until next week. For now, I'm going to start with my review of 2011. The first, being part of the yearly journal I do. I'm not posting it all, but this is what I was able to pull from it that I wanted to post.

Marriage

The wedding finally happened this year, after many years of planning. It was successful, and unforgettable. Although the concept of marriage can be defined easily by most, it’s quite nice to make our own set of rules in our relationship. According to most, we should have been settling down and popping out a baby by now. I’m glad that we laid out a strong foundation for our marriage over the last few years, and have no plans to let anyone else influence it, and cause us to deviate from what we truly want. We’re both happy, and things couldn’t be better. This year has strengthened my love for him even  more. I am so lucky to have him in my life.

Friendship

I learned many lessons this year, and had a lot of unique experiences. The most important one was learning how valuable friendship is. People take it for granted, and I sure did. It’s easy to do. I’ve learned that you need to work at friendships, just like relationships. People who are there for you no matter what, through the bad times and the good are the ones to hold onto. They call you when they know you’re upset, to make sure you’re okay and make you laugh. My friends, the ones who did this and helped me this year will have my never ending gratitude. You know who you are, and you should know what you mean to me.  If you don’t – I love you. I’ll never be able to tell you how much you mean to me, and how grateful I am for having you in my life.

On the same note of friendship, this year became a huge milestone in my friendship with someone who I’ve known for over ten years. This was the year I got to meet Bram for the first time.

It was an experience that neither of us will ever forget. It was, in the words of Bram “surreal”. I’ll never forget that awkward few moments at the airport when I hid behind a tall pillar waiting for him to emerge. It was a crazy, awesome moment that makes me laugh every time I remember it. The photo above was taken less than 5 minutes after meeting.  Many believed it was crazy we had never met before June, but we just never had the chance to.  Our friendship is quite unexplainable, and we’re both quite content with that.  I really got to understand the value of my friendship with him this year, and appreciate it more than I’ll ever be able to explain to him.  I was ecstatic that he attended, and was involved in one of the most important events I’ll ever have. The week he was in Toronto was one of the best of my life, and I don’t think either of us will forget it or the memories we made during it.  

So thank you Bram, for everything you’ve done for me, and for putting up with my overdramatic, ridiculous, never ending talking butt all these years! Thank you being one of my greatest friends.

New Experiences

2011 brought a long awaited adventure – I finally visited Bram in Europe. It was a spur of the moment decision that came in June, and within days I was booked on a trip for two weeks with the fabulous Jane.  We anticipated it all summer, and when we finally got there we weren’t let down. The two weeks flew by, but we had the time of our lives. We met great new people, ate tons of delicious food and had tons of new experiences. I learned more on that trip, that I had in the last year and I couldn’t believe how opened my eyes became to things. I think I also became closer with Jane, and I love her to pieces for not only coming with me, but for being someone who listens to my garbage and puts up with it more than anyone else. I love you darling.

The Future

I’m hoping in 2012 to mostly have new experiences, and to continue to grow into a future educator. The knowledge gained this year about being one, has helped me see things in a new light, and I can’t wait to put a lot of them into practice during my teaching experiences this year. I also  cannot wait to visit Ireland in May with Deric, and hopefully visit Belgium again as well.  I'll also be spending the holidays with my family and friends, and as always look forward to that. I hope 2012 will be a great year.

Coming up tomorrow: 2011 review with photos

Leaving on a Jet plane

Well here I am, three days away from flying to Europe. Both Jane and I are beyond excited to get out and do something and get away from all the crazy stuff going on.

I have butterflies! I'm not really sure why. I think I'm just excited. I need to be around friends.

Don't get me wrong, I love every moment I get to spend with Deric, but with everything that has gone on since the wedding, it'll be nice to hang out with the boys & Jane. I'm also excited to meet a billion new people!

We don't really have a lot planned out. It's kinda driving myself and Jane nuts as we're both clearly planners. We have a list of stuff we want to see, but no days selected for when we'll do them. oh well. We'll work it out when we get there I guess. Ort is on vacation this week in southern France. I'm jealous. I'm glad he was able to get away though.

I'm all packed, well mostly. Just minor things left to add in (makeup, straightener ect..). I'm glad I got it out of the way so I don't need to rush and try and get it done. Friday afternoon I need to go pick up my Euros from the bank, and then Saturday in the late morning Deric and I are going for lunch. I need to be at the airport by 1:30 though so that sucks.

A huge hurricane is making it's way up the east coast right now. It's suppose to hit the Boston area on Saturday afternoon, so hopefully my flight doesn't get delayed or anything. It looks though, like flights from Chicago to Belgium go through Ontario so it's a bit higher up.

So I guess my next post will be when I get back. Tons to tell I'm sure, so keep an eye out for that! Until then, fb for photos, as well as twitter.

Goodbye America! See you in a few weeks!

I hate packing :(

Although we have a week and a half (EEEK!) until we leave, I always find myself making lists well a head of time to plan for trips. I hate forgetting things. Usually many weeks out, I make a list of everything that I'm going to need. Every.single.thing. Then two weeks out, I start tossing more and more things in a pile in the dining room. Stuff that I don't wear or use all the time, but that I want to bring with me.

So I've been doing that for about a week now, and it was starting to take over my dining room, so I decided to just put the main things in the bag (and of course, I'll re-pack next week when I have everything ready to go). I can already see it's going to be a struggle to pack. I'm bringing OrT Mountain Dew, since they don't have it in Belgium (or anywhere in Europe for that matter) and I guess he loves it. I have to bring his friend shoes he ordered that I've had forever, and a few gifts.

So all of that alone takes up so much room. Originally, I was going to bring my big main suitcase, a small, rolling carry on and then see if I can get away with my lulu bag being my "personal item". I'm not sure if it's going to work just yet. I think they might say that the lulu bag is too big. I'm hoping that if I don't pack it too full, I might be able to bring it. We'll see I guess once I get everything in my suitcase. I would really love it if I didn't need my other rolling case. It's going to be such a pain in the ass to carry it all by myself.

I've been trying to curl my hair lately. At night, I've been putting them in rollers and blow drying them. It's been turning out great, but it's such a pain in the ass. I wish I could do what Jane does, and wake up like that. Oh well. Hopefully I can train my hair a bit better so that it's easier.

So that's about it really. School is starting soon - I'm so nervous for the next semester. I want to stay on the Dean's list! Oh and my application is pending for my greencard right now. I'm hoping to hear something very soon. I went and did my fingerprints two weeks ago now I think? I would love to hear something before I left.

Both Jane and I are beyond excited for our trip! I feel like this summer flew by. I don't even remember what happened in July at all. I can't believe 2011 is moving into the last few months.

My dad was right - once you hit your late 20's, everything moves super quick!

I'm a fish, I'm a fish.

Yesterday D and I went to his annual work party at the local water park. Him and I usually go tons throughout the summer as it's only a few moments away from the house, and is a great night after he works all day.

It was fairly chilly, but it didn't stop me from running into the wave pool after lunch and after getting use to the temperature, we ventured out to the six foot depth and waited for the waves to be turned on. I often go out this deep but most of the younger kids at the park won't head out that fair, and no one will be thrown into you as you ride the waves around.

When the waves started, I found myself so relaxed as I have much experience in the water. I love it. I would live in it if I could. Deric can swim, although not as well I can. And once the waves got going he had to retreat to the 5'5 depth because wave after wave kept going over his head. Even before the waves started, we were floating in the water, he had to tread water to keep himself up. It was so effortless for me. I never really noticed myself having to do much to keep myself above the water. Even going under the water, he has to plug his nose. I can easily go under without having to do that, and I can open my eyes easily too.

So after, we discussed swimming lessons an how I attended them for over ten years. He had not. In fact, except for football he had never taken any sort of lessons or gone to any type of summer camp. It surprised me, because that's all I did when I was young.

I started to think last night about all the different things when I was young, and I was spoiled! I never thought about it before, because everyone around me did the same thing. I thought it was normal for most young kids to take lessons or attend camp in the summer.

Here is the complete list of things I did as a child

- Swimming Lessons (10+ years)

- Skating Lessons ( 4 + years)

- Summer Camp ( I did this multiple years, different kinds)

- Brownies & Girl Guides

- Dance Lessons

- Reading Club

- Ballet

- Tennis

- Karate

- Craft Classes

- Gymnastics

- Babysitting courses

- cpr/first aid classes

I'm 100% sure that I am forgetting some, but those were the main ones. I taught lessons too.

So it was interesting to see that not everyone does (or has the same chances) to experience these types of things when growing up. Although D and I currently do not plan on ever having children (right now away), I would want any we did have to experience the same things I did. I'm so happy I can swim well (I use to swim across the lake when we went camping, it was awesome!).

D calls me a fish all the time, so I can help but hear "I'm a fish, I'm a fish" everytime I swim now.

It would change your life

I had a dream last night that I won the lottery. Of course, I've had this dream many times before but never in this detail. It went from before I won, to months after. It was kinda cool to see what my subconscious would come up with for what I would do if I DID win.

So it got me thinking this morning over breakfast - what WOULD I do if I won?

1) Go into hiding

No really, I would pack up things that I needed to keep (photos + other items) and ship them to my parents house. I would then, go to a hotel in an unnamed city until my father could set up a corporation to claim the money. I would try and avoid my name getting out there as someone who has won. Obviously, the changes in my lifestyle would key people who are in my life into what was going on, but random strangers - hopefully not.

2) Discussion

Deric and I would spend a lot of time discussing what type of life we'd want to live. Do we want to open our own business? It wouldn't be something we could come to easily, and most likey would sit on it for a year. But the small things we could think about. Where would our home base now be? Would we buy a house? Build one. So many choices and options.

3) V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N

Italy? Spain? Somewhere hot like that! I'd rent a boat. A beach house. Fly first class. I would bring important people with me so that they could share the amazing experiences that money could buy. I would hire a chef to cook for us. Drive around nice cars. Be driven around. Visit some of the most beautiful places in the world. I'd hire a photographer to follow us around so that I could remember every single moment of it. I'd buy myself gear too. So many places that I would want to visit that it would be hard to decide where to go first. No matter what though, I would do it with D, and some close friends :)

4) Giving Back

So many amazing organizations that I'd love to give money to - and I would! I'd give back to my family. Finally allow my father to retire and live his dream - retire at a nice cottage in northern Ontario with my mother and dog. I'd leave my brothers money, but make sure they finish college first before they could touch it. I'd give money to some people who I know deserve it. Friends who have been there for me. Friends who I'd love to see live their dreams.

5) Remaining the same

Obviously winning something like the lottery is a life changer. No matter what, everyone would change slightly but you don't need to change the person you are. I wouldn't be "too good" to visit and talk with all friends. To attend important events in their lives. Or not call them when they needed to talk. I think it's a lot harder, but you shouldn't let something like money affect the person you are. Money can't hug you back. (unless of course, you buy one.)

It would be a great experience to win the lottery, but the chance of it happening is zero. Although D and I play it sometimes, I don't even believe that I would win. I guess neither do people who actually do win, so who knows what could happen.

One thing is for sure - I have better chance then those who don't! :)

Relationships are hard work

It seems lately as though everyone is having difficulty in their relationships.

All my friends are having difficulties with their boyfriends or girlfriends. Fighting over things they shouldn't. Not talking to each other about issues and pretending like they will just go away over time.

One thing I learned from my previous relationship with J, is that things just don't go away and people do not change. By the time you're in your mid-twenties, you generally have established yourself as a person (although, some don't and that's okay). Most will treat each relationship they are in the same way, so no matter which person they are with nothing will change ever. You'll find it hard pressed to find someone who does, although I know it can happen.

So with J, the biggest key in our downfall was a lack of real communication. We never talked - ever. When we did, or I should say *I* did, I never got the point. I never directly told him what my issues were because I was terrified he would get mad at me and want to break up. Eventually, because I never got the answers I needed out of him, I went else where and in the end the lack of communication caused us to break up. Although he most likely never saw it like that, it's really what it was. Over the seven years we were off and on, I tried many times to let him know that I wasn't happy and he never did anything about it. The final attempt was July 2005 on a camping trip. I told him that if he didn't help me repair what was broken, we wouldn't last the year. And we didn't.

Before Deric and I got serious, I really talked to him a lot about the things that would need in the relationship in order for me to know that he was serious, and that would help make it last. I feel that without this conversation, we never would have been able to proceed the way we did and I would have most likely fallen back into my old ways of not being able to open up the way I needed to.

So here are the things I follow with D that makes our relationship so great. Although we've disagreed on things, that's very normal for anyone. But we've never screamed and yelled at each other ever.

1) Communication - Biggest factor in a great relationship. If you can't open up to someone and share how you are feeling about everything and anything, then that person is not for you. The change I found in myself with D vs J was insane. Right off the bat I could tell D anything. I was never afraid of what he might think or say because I knew no matter what, it would work out. You also need to respect the other person because if they come to you to talk to you, it may be about something they find difficult to bring up. Being a good listener plays a huge part in that.

One thing D and I always find time to do is sit down and make sure that neither of us have an issue to discuss. Often we may find something minor that isn't bad, but something that should be brought up or questioned. It's really nice to know that we can do this.

And no matter what, we never leave an issue unsolved. We never go to bed angry - EVER. If we're having a disagreement or anything, we stay up and discuss it. It does no good for it to continue on for the entire day.

2) Honesty - Clearly it's as easy as it sounds. Don't lie. If you feel the need to lie about anything, then question why you are in this relationship.

3) Trust - If you can't trust your partner, then there's a problem. You know you're in a good relationship when you don't worry about the other cheating on you. The thought never even crosses your mind.

Many men (or even women) will be very nervous about allowing their partner to go to another country to see a member of the opposite sex, and even stay in their home. Deric has not one issue about me going to Europe. Not a single problem. He trusts me. He knows that I love him, and I would never do anything to hurt him.

4) Being able to Forgive - Everyone makes mistakes. Large or small, it happens at one time or another. There may be a time where something may happen, and you will need to forgive your partner.

5) Time management - Everyone needs time to themselves. You need to be able to be happy on your own before you can be in a healthy relationship. I consider my marriage the "icing on the cake" you can say, in the life that I have made for myself. I never really understood that until I broke up with J, but I learned it quickly after we broke up, and helped make it my own reality over the last few years.

Although everyone needs time to themselves, it's important to make dates with your partner. D and I alternate who chooses what we do for date night. Sometimes it's dinner, sometimes it's a movie. So many different things you can choose from. Regardless, it helps us get out of the house and spend more time together. *I* of all people know what the internet (and video games) can do to a relationship, so I refused to let that happen this time with D.

I still feel the exact same way about him as I did over five years ago. It's wonderful to be able to have those same feelings for him. I've learned that relationships are hard work. Although I find this relationship a lot easier to maintain then previous ones, it doesn't change the fact that I still work at it each day. And D does too. Every single day, the first thing he does when he sees me after work is kiss my hand. I can't even tell you how romantic I think that is. I never asked him to do it, but he does.

I'm so very glad I was able to find someone who adores me as much as I adore them. It's such a wonderful feeling, and I hope that everyone can experience it one day.

A little taste of Europe

So in three short weeks, I'll be heading to Belgium for two glorious weeks.

I'm beyond excited that I can do something fun like this, right before a extremely stressful semester of school starts. Although Deric and I plan on going next May, I thought it would be nice to head there this summer to see Bram play at a giant gig in early September. It's something we've both talked about me attending for years, so it'll be great.

When I first started to seriously think about going, I knew it would be great to go alone because obviously I know Bram and Rudolf well, and I speak to a few other of Bram's friends, but I just thought it would be nice to invite a friend along. Of course Jane pops into my head as we had become so close (well, even more so over the last month or so). I'm so glad she accepted, and that I'll have a friend there with me.

It's really a huge deal for me to invite someone actually. I've hidden my relationship with Bram away from a lot of my friends, because I didn't want anything to come between it. I liked that I could talk to Bram, and know that my other friends wouldn't get involved in posts or convos I had him with.

So anyway, lots of fun stuff planned. A festival or two, dinner with Bram's dad and I'm sure dinner with his friends as well. Lots of awesome tourist things to visit, and hopefully a day or two down in paris. It's not too far from Bram's house so hopefully we have time for it. I know it's something that Jane really wants to see if possible. And King Tut!! The King Tut stuff will be in Brussels while we're there, and I've been DYING to see it. Hopefully we get a chance for that too!

I guess that's about really. We're not planning out too much, and will just see where it goes when we get there. I depart here on the 27th at 3pm, and then fly to Chicago and depart there at 6pm for my nice 8.5 hour to Belgium. I arrive the next day at 2:30am my time, but really it'll be 9:30 already. Hopefully I'm not too tired. I usually recover quickly from time changes, but we'll see! It may not hit me for a day or two. The next morning bright and early (8:30am!) we have to head to Brussels to get Jane from the airport. I have no idea what we'll do then, but I'm sure we'll have a fun day.

Three more weeks!